Episode 50: Sky High Anxiety: Parking and Coffee with Annette Zapp, CSCS*D
Anxiety is weird. Some people are anxious about everything while others, like me are anxious about specific things. For me, it's parking and coffee, shops-especially stupid Starbucks.
So what, now what?
Perspective is everything. When someone is anxious about something, their perspective is the one that matters. Be part of the solution rather than the problem.
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Annette: [00:00:00] Hey listeners, it's AZ, and this is episode number 50 of the Fire Rescue Wellness Podcast. If you are a first-time listener, thanks for being here and if you've been listening to episodes since the beginning, I appreciate you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For today's 50th episode. I'm going to focus on some stories.
Don't worry. There will be a lesson. There's a lesson with all of these stories, but I want to let you know that I have a little bit of anxiety. Now. It's not just a generalized anxious feeling all of the time, because let's face it, I am a firefighter and so occasionally I walk into a building that's on fire.
We do extrications of patients from motor vehicles. We treat somewhat complicated [00:01:00] medical calls, although my role is more supervisory of course, on, on all of those. But I am not a generally anxious person. However, I have anxiety and I'm gonna tell you about three specific things today. The first one in.
2014, 2015 when I started to attend more Health and Wellness conferences-I took, five, six years off of doing that. And when I started to attend those Health and Wellness conferences, you would 100% find me hiding in my room. So I would go through the materials, I would highlight the sessions I wanted to go to, I would beeline it out of the room straight to the session.
I would listen, take notes, whatever, and then I would not engage with other attendees. I would not go to the hotel bar or the restaurant. I would generally grab [00:02:00] food and eat it in my room. I met nobody! Was it anxiety? I think so. I was nervous to be there. I felt like I didn't belong, I didn't know anybody, and that just felt really icky to me.
So fast forward to the spring of 2019 and I received a request to do a discovery call. So in case you don't know, a discovery call is a 15-minute free call with me where you can basically tell me what you're looking for. And I can let you know if I can help you or make a suggestion for someone else to help you.
And so a young man reached out. His name is Casey Kramer, and he had heard me on a podcast, I wanna say NSCA Coaching podcast. I think that was it. He had heard me on a podcast and he was a local Chicago guy[00:03:00] who had previously worked in tactical, I believe he worked with the military, but he was the current strength and conditioning coach for the Chicago Bears, and he was looking at possibly going back into tactical.
And so he and I had a wonderful conversation. I left that conversation thinking that is a really nice guy and I sure hope that someday I get to meet him in person. So fast forward to January 2020 and I was invited to be on a panel at the NSCA Coaches' Conference in San Antonio and NSCA, in case you're not familiar is the National Strength and Conditioning Association.
It is a certifying body and I hold two of their credentials and I routinely present at their conferences. And so the fact that I was attending this conference wasn't weird at all. The thing that is a little bit weird is that I reached [00:04:00] out, I was gonna be there early, and so I reached out to the staff in the office and I said, “Hey, do you want me to help you with registration? I would be happy to volunteer at registration on the first day.”
And they, of course said we'd love to have help and much like any conference. It's a long table or booth or whatever you wanna call it. And then there's, the, come here if you're an A to M and go to this line if you're an N through Z and you get your swag bag and your conference book and your credential and whatever.
So I'm working the A through M line. And a young man approaches the table. And his name was Jim Davis. I gave Jim all of his registration information and then he asked me a question that I could not answer. And so my response to him was, oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I am a volunteer, and right now I'm a terrible volunteer because I [00:05:00] don't know the answer to your question.
And Jim said, “actually, no, I think you're a great volunteer and we would love to have you volunteer with our organization if you would ever want to.” And so after I went up to one of the NSCA staff, got Jim's question answered. We exchanged contact information and I found out he's actually native to Chicago.
And so I put his contact information…like I do at every conference…I put it in the back of my credential to keep everything together, and then I vowed that I would reach out to him afterwards.
So as I mentioned that I was part of a tactical panel, which included Mandy Nice, who I already knew, and then Rob Hartman. Rob Hartman, I met a couple days before the conference. He was previously an employer at Bridge Athletic, and so my friend Ryan had interviewed me on the Bridge Athletic Podcast and I got to meet [00:06:00] Rob even before the panel. And I really liked him. Great guy. Very excited to meet him. So on Thursday the conference, we had the panel.
It was a tremendous success. Very well attended. Really good feedback. In case you don't know or you do care, the Coaches’Conference primarily attracts collegiate, high school and professional athletics coaches. It's really not a tactical presence for the most part. It's really just, again, high school, collegiate and professional coaches.
But our session was really well attended. So Thursday we had our panel, and then Thursday night it's 7:30. I am thinking about putting on my pajamas. I'm in my hotel room, my phone chirps. It's Ryan from Bridge. He and Rob are out with their coworker, Charlie and a couple other people, and they said, “Hey, do you wanna join [00:07:00] us out for dinner?”
And in my brain, I'm thinking, are you crazy? It's 7:30. But my fingers typed back. Sure, where are you? Would love to meet you out. So I got myself gathered up, went out and met those guys for dinner. We had a tremendous time. It's now around 9:30, and they say, “Hey, should we go grab some margaritas?”
And again, my brain said no. My mouth said yes. And we end up at this little dive bar where I got the opportunity to meet my friend, Coach Jo. Who is amazing. Johannah Zabal and her best friend, Chris Tex Mcquilkin from Power Athlete. And so actually we stayed, this is probably the last time I've done this. January of 2020. It was, I think it was 2:00 in the morning possibly when I got back to my hotel room. It was a night for sure.
We finished up the conference and stayed [00:08:00] in contact with Johannah. We've been in contact since, but I got home and I emailed Jim Davis and I said, “Hey, Jim, so nice to meet you at the conference. I hope that sometime our paths cross again.” And Jim said, “Hey, I wasn't kidding about the volunteering. I am involved in a group called Lost Boyz, Inc”.
(That is B O Y Z, lost Boyz Inc). “And our platform is after school tutoring for Chicago youth. Would you ever consider being a tutor now?”
Yes. Nothing about that question scared me. I feel like I'm a good tutor. I'm not that anxious about driving into Chicago. But you know what? I was anxious about parking. Parking gives me tremendous anxiety. So I said to Jim, “hold on. Just. Put the truck in, drive, set the parking brake. I'll get back to you.”
[00:09:00] And I did some research and I looked up the addresses that he gave me because here's the thing, with parking, it's not so much the circling and circling, that's not that bad.
But when you finally find a spot, then it's hella confusing in Chicago am I gonna get towed? Do I need to have some sort of a special sticker? Can I even park here? It's just, it's awful. Causes me great anxiety. So I looked it up. It appeared that parking wasn't gonna be an issue, so I got back to Jim and I said I'd love to, and I went on my maiden voyage to Chicago to do the tutoring for the Lost Boyz. And it was amazing. I had the best time. I met the best volunteers, the best kids, and I told Jim, yes, I can do this once a week. Not on the same day, but I can do this once a week.
In the interim, Rob Hartman, remember him from the panel, contacted me and he said, Hey, I'm gonna [00:10:00] be in Chicago next week. And by the way, I also know Casey Kramer who said he knows you. I think we should all go out for pizza. And I said, “I think that's a tremendous idea. I have to be in Chicago anyway on Wednesday night. Where do you wanna meet?” And as those words came outta my mouth, terror struck because then I thought, not only am I gonna have to park for Lost Boyz, I now have to park somewhere else.
And I just, I started freaking out. It was the worst. But I decided in my brain it's not going to, that is not gonna keep me from having pizza with two people I really like, just because I'm afraid of parking. So what ended up happening?
There are areas of Chicago now it's all the same, but at that time there were areas of Chicago that had the little signs. It made it very clear, download this app. This is what number you have to press in the app would let you know when it was time to move your car [00:11:00] or to pay for more parking. Again, flawless experience. We had a wonderful time, Rob Casey and I had a wonderful time, great conversation. A million laughs then I left, I went and tutored the Lost Boyz.
And then one week later, COVID shut down all of the tutoring and all of that stuff. So it was only a two week experience, but it was wonderful.
But parking gives me tremendous anxiety. Just a couple months ago I was going to Miami. I was gonna have a physical therapy treatment with my girl, Katie Dabrowski. But you know what I asked her? I don't even think I had committed to the appointment. I'm not sure. I can't remember, but I asked her, what is the situation with parking? How hard is it gonna be for me to find parking? It just makes me very nervous. So previously conferences and currently parking are two things that cause [00:12:00] me anxiety.
Here's one more…coffee. I don't drink it. I don't like it. I don't know anything about it. And even more than coffee. Coffee shops give me tremendous anxiety. In fact, in 2019, I made a trip to Canada to instruct at Brandon University for my friends Dr. Scott Forbes, Dr. Creatine, and Dr. Joel Krentz. After I instructed for their university, the three of us took a journey to Regina for a continuing education seminar at Dr. Darren Candow’s University.
So we're on this car trip and Joel is driving with Scott Forbes' shotgun, and I'm in the back. And Joel says, I need to stop for gas. Are you guys okay with that? Of course we're okay with it. What are we gonna say? No?
Joel pulls into the gas [00:13:00] station, he locks eyes on me, he gives me his credit card, and he said, “Hey, will you go over to Tim Horton's? Order whatever you want. And I want a words, vanilla words.” So I said…I took out my phone and I said, can you repeat that slowly? And so he repeated his order.
I typed it into my phone and off I went was Scott Forbes to Tim Horton's. So I'm the first one in line, and I vomit this order at the clerk, and she looks at me like I'm stupid. So what do I do? I just say it louder and more nervously. And she looks at me and she says, we don't have that here. In a Canadian accent, which I can’t do.
And so I looked at her and I looked at Forbes and I looked at her and I looked at Forbes, and now I see Forbes backing away from me. Like he doesn't know me, he's of no help. And so I said to [00:14:00] the lady, just in terror, okay, large black coffee and an orange juice to go. And so she gives me my total.
Oh, I forgot. Here's the thing. I forgot a part. In addition to Joel giving me his credit card, he says to me, just tap it now. I'm so anxious about the coffee. I don't even bother to ask him about what does just tap it? I mean none of my credit cards had that technology at the time. So I didn't clarify with him what just tap it meant.
So after I have this terror inducing order at Tim Horton's and she gives me a total, I insert the credit card. And of course it asks for a PIN, and I don't have a PIN. Now I'm looking at Forbes. He's looking at me. I’m looking at Forbes, and now he's backing up even more like Homer Simpson into the bushes. He is not helping me.
And so I take the card out. I just look at the lady. I don't have my wallet with me. I left it in [00:15:00] the car. Finally, Forbes comes in, swoops in, pays for the order. He's laughing at me. I'm demoralized. I feel terrible. We go back, we get in the car and the first thing Forbes does is just start laughing at me and making fun of me.
But I told Joel, I said, I ordered what you said. And they said they don't have it. And he said, oh. And he just laughs. That's my McDonald's order. I screwed it up. So there's one problem. And then I said, what does just tap it mean? And he said, he looks at me like I'm dumb. He said, you just tap the credit card on the credit card machine. Okay. So to this day there's a joke about Tim Horton's and the vanilla, what you call it order.
But even in the United States coffee shops provoke terror in me. But the other thing is that for me, if I have a business meeting, it makes sense to meet at a coffee shop. So even though I don't wanna be there and [00:16:00] it's terrifying, it makes a lot more sense than saying meet me at Burger King.
About 18 months ago, I had a meeting with someone. I walked into Starbucks. I don't like coffee. I don't want tea with a whole bunch of sugar and sweetener in it. I just wanted some sort of tea that didn't taste like a goat's butt. And so I finally see it says passion fruit tea, and they haven't iced or hot, and there's a picture of it.
It looks pink, so it looks beautiful. So I said to the lady, I will have a Passionfruit tea on ice. Much like Tim Horton. She looks at me like I'm stupid and says, you mean a grande? And I just said, lady, I don't know what I mean. Can I just have a tea? You pick the size. So she brings the tea. I pay for it.
Of course it's overpriced. I don't tap it cuz I still don't have…I still don't have that technology. But I go off, I have my meeting, it's fine. And then I decide I am not going to [00:17:00] Starbucks anymore. This is terrifying. I'm not gonna do it.
Until last week. Someone wants to have a meeting, it's right after work. It makes sense. It's on my way home. So I say Starbucks. But now I'm not worried because I know what to order. A grande passion fruit tea on ice, and I walk in and I look at the board and it's not on there.
Now I'm screwed. What am I gonna do? I start to sweat. I start to have palpitations. I can feel the redness coming up in my face. And so finally, I just grab a water, a bottle of water, and I throw it on the counter and I say, just this. And I tap it. Cause I have that technology now. And I sat down, I had my meeting, whatever.
But here's the thing, [00:18:00] I do not tend toward anxiety, but I used to be anxious about conferences and I am currently anxious about parking and coffee shops. And you can probably look at me and say, that's ridiculous. And you're right. It is a little bit ridiculous. But here's the thing, and here comes the lesson.
Your coworker who doesn't do physical fitness training might possibly also be experiencing anxiety around physical fitness. Because I think of it this way. Oh cool, there's a gym and I walk in and I pay the price for it, or I flip my guest pass or whatever. I walk in, I survey, what have they got?
What looks busy? And I formulate a plan in my head and I get to work that causes [00:19:00] me zero anxiety. But for someone else, just the walking in and finding the locker room and figuring out how to navigate what they're gonna do is probably terrifying. And further, even if you have a plan of what to do, just walking into the gym where you don't know anybody and you don't know where things are, it's unsettling.
So here is my challenge for you today. I would love for you to realize that the things that are inherently comfortable for you are not necessarily comfortable for everyone. And instead of being a giant bully to other people, Instead of [00:20:00] bullying them for their lack of desire to go to the gym, their inability to come into the physical fitness area at the fire department, instead of bullying them and pressuring them, why don't you make it a more comfortable situation?
Hey, would you like to work out with me today? I was thinking about doing this and this. What do you think about that? Do you have any feedback? Maybe do you need some modifications?
But taking that attitude of being helpful instead of hurtful can really put someone at ease. Do not be the barista that says, “you mean vente?” Do not be the cashier [00:21:00] at Tim Horton's that says, “we don't have that here.”
Be the person that says, “you know what? We don't have passion fruit tea anymore, but we have a mango one that's similar. Would you like to try it?”
That's all I've got for you today. Your call to action: Be the person that helps someone else out with their physical fitness or their mental fitness instead of being part of the problem.
This has been AZ and I am out.
